We took the whole family on a vacation recently to Florida. Other than feeling like we were going to pass out at any given moment from the humidity, it was beautiful and refreshing. Troy had some work obligations, but other than that, we spent as much time in or near the ocean as possible. It was Dawsyn’s first time swimming in the ocean and playing on the beach. As is her typical demeanor, she was ecstatic about the whole experience. We were a little ridiculous about snapping pictures of her splashing and squealing, but we couldn’t help ourselves. Joy surrounds that little girl and it is infectious to everyone around her. No one watching us would assume we were a family with one less member.

As usual, Dalton was on our minds throughout the vacation. We imagined his voice loud and boisterous as he runs around the beach playing sand football while couples try to relax peacefully. Or little girls nearly being trampled by him in the shallow parts of the ocean as he dives to catch a pass from Colton. A memory came to me of us in Florida one vacation where a couple was getting married on the beach with this gorgeous setting sun as a background. While exchanging their vows, there was Dalton about 50 feet away tackling Colton and Troy in the sand, yelling that “He GOT them!” (I bet those pictures turned out nice for the bride and groom).

Interestingly enough, it didn’t take long into the vacation to know he was with us. Troy, Dawsyn and I flew privately with a couple other employees from Global Parts and the kids flew commercial. As the kids were walking along in the airport at Key West International, a lady who emerged from the corner of the airport stopped directly in front of them and said, “Dalton, come on!” The kids looked and there was her son – somewhere around age 13, meaty, and taller. Colton, Keely and Carly all looked at each other and immediately their mouths dropped. As Keely put it, all three of them weirdly watched it with their full attention. She said typically they would be on their phones and not even be aware of their surroundings. But it was like they were meant to be watching at that exact moment and were listening.   They gave one another a knowing glance and knew it was no coincidence.

One night we ate at the oldest bar in Big Pine Key called “No Name Pub.” It is literally out in the middle of nowhere in a town possibly more inhabited by giant crabs and little deer than people. Very quaint and captivating. Dollar bills filled every square inch of the walls and ceiling. Someone estimated that there is between $50,000-$75,000 covering the entire pub. Each dollar bill had something written on it, such as a person’s name or where they were visiting from. We were seated in a far corner booth. It was soon discovered that we had a giant air conditioning vent blowing on us and we were freezing. In an untypical fashion, we asked if we could be moved to a different table. Something about it wasn’t quite right. After getting our drinks, the waitress shifted us over to the next table. Feeling so much better, we relaxed and started looking around us. Located directly behind where Keely was sitting was a dollar bill on the wall that read, “DALTON GANG.” Yes, it could have been a reference to the gang of brothers in the late 1800’s that used to rob banks and trains. Or was it a different kind of sign? One that meant, “Dalton’s family?” It doesn’t really matter. We just sort of smiled.

I hope when people see us choosing joy in the midst of sadness, they don’t assume we have forgotten our son and brother. I promise that is not the case. Instead, we are living our lives the best we can after having our entire world interrupted on that November day in 2014. We can’t undo our circumstances. We can’t write our own fate. We can’t bring Dalton back.  Choosing to face our lives with joy over anguish is an everyday decision. Some days it’s a minute by minute decision. Had this tragedy not happened to our family, we would not find the joy like we do in the simple, everyday things in life. Without it sounding like I am attempting to romanticize the situation we are in, I find that there is much to be grateful for when dealing with pain. Had we not had our lives interrupted, I doubt we would have ever understood our capacity to love one another like we have in the past 2 ½ years.

Some of the greatest lessons in life are spun from interrupted circumstances. We used to call those “teachable moments” in the classroom – you didn’t plan on a particular subject coming up but you turn it into a lesson your students can learn from anyway. Most of Jesus’s teachable moments were times when he was interrupted by people or happenings along his journey. It was in those times that some of the biggest blessings were born from His ministry. If we model our own lives off of the life of Christ, choosing joy in interrupted circumstances should just come natural. It certainly doesn’t mean that all bad things are good. However, good can emerge from the bad if you allow it. It’s like when you are in a dark room and your eyes start to adjust and gradually objects come into focus. Eventually you recognize exactly where you are and what you were meant to do. That is the reason we smile when we sit down at a restaurant to find a dollar bill on a wall behind us that reads, “DALTON GANG.” He is there with us. Like always. Sometimes we have to allow our heart and our minds to adjust in order to see him.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1: 2-4)