“I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born.” (Isaiah 66:9)

 You read that right. We are expecting. And, yes, it even seems a little crazy to us too. Like no child ever conceived, this was not an accident. Along with God, we planned her life. Troy and I feel over the moon to be chosen to be her parents. Due on my birthday, our little girl’s anticipated arrival is October 28, 2016.

About six months after Dalton’s accident, I felt truly inspired by God to consider the idea of having another baby. It took some time to discern whether it was the Holy Spirit talking to me or my own selfish desire. I prayed for days before ever bringing it up to Troy. His reaction was mixed with apprehension and amusement. I think he thought I was crazy. Our kids were nearly grown. One is in college and one is about to begin college this fall.

I can’t say exactly what made us decide to take this particular leap of faith. One thing is certain – neither one of us was ready to be done being a parent to a smaller child. Other than losing our youngest child, nothing was lacking in any way with our living children. Colton and Keely were sufficient in every sense of the word. And replacing Dalton was never in the discussion.

We brought the subject up to the kids. Colton thought it was a little wild, but being the ever so compliant young man he is, he supported whatever we wanted to do. Baby fever picked up steam pretty quickly with Colton and his girlfriend, Carly, and we were quite pleased. Keely was another story. Still struggling daily with the loss of her little brother, the idea of a “replacement child” in her mind wasn’t setting well. I would be lying if I said her adamant reluctance to accept any new possible sibling didn’t hurt me. I had never thought of a new baby as being a replacement to Dalton. Just the thought of that seemed absurd, knowing no human being would ever take the place of DD. That ornery little boy was one of a kind. I’m confident there is no one like him, nor will there ever be.

Moving forward, it took us about eight months to be successful. I received the news back in February that we were pregnant. There were many emotions that day. Part of me wanted Dalton to be the last baby to be in my womb. Even though we planned this new baby, the reality of a positive blood test still rattled me. I was thrilled and shocked and scared at the same time. Immediately I knew I wanted a boy. I wanted the baseball games and dirty socks on my floor. However, my dreams spoke otherwise. Night after night, I dreamt about holding something in a pink blanket. Dismissing them, I prayed for a boy.

Dr. Zielke asked me if I wanted to take a blood test at the ten week mark to screen for abnormalities. Knowing it wouldn’t matter even if the baby wasn’t genetically “perfect,” I agreed. He informed me that the test would also reveal the gender with a 99% accuracy. Whoa. I remember having to wait until the 18^th week or so to find that out with the other three kids. Five days after taking the test, a nurse called me to tell me that no abnormalities showed up in the results. Then she asked me if I wanted to know the gender of the baby. Imagining army guys and sunflower seeds scattered across my kitchen floor, I listened as she told me I was having a little girl.

God had been trying to tell me she was a girl for weeks. I hadn’t been listening. And of course she was. This was all part of His plan. A girl would less likely be compared to DD. She can be her own person and not feel like she is living up to anyone’s expectations. This little girl can grow to be who she was meant to be from the start. It is true that without Dalton’s passing, we probably would never have gone down this path. We are also well aware that without the Lord’s blessing, we wouldn’t be making this announcement. His hands are in everything. It is up to us to put our trust in His design for our lives. As in our case, sometimes it feels like He isn’t listening or isn’t present. It takes a spiritual maturity to understand how big our God is. He can make something out of nothing. Our pink little miracle is evidence of that. She is here because we believed.